positive adoption language

I can't tell you how many times I have been asked, "do you know your real parents...mom...dad?" or "do you know why you were put up for adoption?" Growing up, I thought this terminology was normal and I asked myself these same questions. As I have embraced my adoption and become an advocate for the blessings that adoption brings, I know that there is a better way to communicate on the subject of adoption.

Over time, adoption has become an open topic in the media and a very common option for families to grow. Although this kind of coverage is great exposure for waiting children and the acceptance from those that aren't familiar with adoption, it is still misunderstood, often leading to stereotypes and myths.

Adoption is now, more than ever an everyday part of families all over the world. Even so, it still brings doubts to the unfamiliar and to those that once viewed adoption as a secret or something to be ashamed of.

This brings me to the introduction of Positive and Negative Adoption Language. The way in which we speak and the words we choose to use are a deep reflection of how we feel and view others. When Positive Adoption Language is used, it is sharing with others that adoption is another way to create a family unit, as is building a family by birth. Positive Adoption Language shows that either by birth or adoption, each are important.

Positive Language:	Negative Language:
Adoption triad	Adoption triangle
Biological parent	Natural / real parent
Birth child	Own child
Birth father / mother	Real / Natural father / mother
Birth parent	Real parent
Born to unmarried parents	Illegitimate
Child from abroad	Foreign child
Child placed for adoption	Unwanted child
Child with special needs	Handicapped child
Court termination	Child taken away
Make an adoption plan / choose adoption	Give away / give up
Intercountry adoption	Foreign adoption
Interracial	Mixed race
Making contact with	Reunion
My child	Adopted child
Parent	Adoptive parent
Search	Track down parents
To parent	To keep
Waiting child	Adoptable child; Available child

This is a wonderful topic to discuss with your children as they may know other kids in school or various social activities that are adopted, have an adopted sibling or might even be in foster care. These children are no different and by educating them on Positive Adoption Language, they can have a greater understanding and respect for those individuals.