{Letters of Love}

Another letter from my birth mom... could she be any more lovely?

My dear daughter, Hyo-Eun…

Winter is at its last chapter in Korea, and spring is almost here.

We had the biggest holiday in Korea, Seol-Nal, which is Chinese New year holiday in January.

I was so happy to finally hear back from you, but I was so sadden about the news of your 2^nd baby.  Just thinking about the challenging time you must be going through, it hurts me as well.

Please don’t worry too much, I may dare to say.  I worry more about you and your well being.  Medicine is so far advanced now, and I believe in hope that everything is going to be just fine.

Let us just pray in unity for the baby to be born.

We are all praying for you and the baby.

Dear Hyo-Eun,

I must have said this so many times now, but I want to tell you that every time I think you, my baby whom I was not able to keep, there is always a part me that still aches with regret.  I am just so thankful to you that you have grown up so well with a family of your own to care.  I am thankful that we are now able to be in contact with each other. 

If you ever feel like calling me, please do so, Hyo-Eun:  (017) 614-7186.

I was so worried when I did not hear from you for months.  If you don’t mind, could you also let me know of your phone number or address where I could reach you?

Being a Korean mother, I wish I could just be there for you, but I know that it will add more burden to you.

I believe that the right time will come for us to meet someday.  Just remember that I am always here, and your sisters and brother will always be here for you if needed.

Let us know if there is anything we can be any help to you during this challenging time.

You are always in our prayers.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Your mom in Korea

Dear Sweet Um-ma,

           

                 I am so relieved that you received my letters and the news about our baby.  I have 6 more weeks until I deliver our baby girl.  My doctors have scheduled a cesarean section the morning of April 11^th.  I am eager for her to be here so I can finally hold her and then we can do what is necessary to make her healthy and comfortable.  It really is amazing how much we already know about our baby’s condition with the discoveries of modern medicine.  At my last doctor’s appointment, it was found that she has another small heart defect in addition to the Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.  The most recent finding does complicate the situation even more, but I feel so blessed that our doctors are even more prepared for what to expect. 

               Despite the complications, my family and I are all very excited for this baby to be born.  We have decided to name her Zoe, which means “Life” in Greek.  I feel so strongly that Zoe has a beautiful life ahead of her, filled with love and support.  I can’t wait for you to meet your grandchildren in America someday.  My daughters are lucky to have their Korean Grandmother that loves and prays for them. 

               When you mention how you still ache with regret for placing me with another family, it hurts because I do not see it the way you do.  I can’t imagine the heartache and loss you must have felt at that time in your life, but I wouldn’t have searched for you if I did not feel that you made the right decision.  I don’t know if you are aware, but it was February 12, 1987 that I flew from Korea and met my family for the very first time.  My family celebrates that day every year at the same restaurant that we went to just a few days after I met them.  We call it “Gotcha Day”.  Gotcha Day is such a special holiday for me, because I joined my family in a very unique way and that day is worth celebrating.  I can’t tell you enough how your decision made a difference in not only my life, but many others.  My parents endured much sacrifice and hardship in their journey to find me and I know that God had a plan for both you and me that led us to reunite after all these years.  Although you were not able to keep me physically, you kept me in your heart and that is all I have every wanted.  I have always wanted to know if you loved me and wanted me.  I know without a doubt that you did and you do.  The past may be painful for you, but we have so much to look forward to in our future. 

You are my Korean mother and never have or will be a burden to me.  My life is fuller because you are a part of it.  I want you to know that you are always welcome in my home and in my family.  My whole life, I have dreamt of the day when we would reunite.  I have so much faith that our time will come sooner than later.  Considering the circumstances with our baby, I have no idea as to when I will be able to go to Korea to meet you and my sisters and brother.  If you feel that there is any way you could come to America someday, I would love to have you here. 

At this time, all I can ask is for your prayers and letters.  Your letters bring me so much hope and joy, especially when you send pictures.  Even though we aren’t together right now, we are still closer than we have ever been. 

I would love to speak with you and finally hear your voice. 

My phone number is: (xxx) xxx-xxxx

              

I love you so much.  Please do not worry too much.  Miracles happen when you have God and family.  That is even more evident to me now in finding you.

Your daughter in America,

Hyo Eun